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Aardvark of the year
Each AGM we vote to award someone the "Aardvark of the year" for the previous season. This award is given to the person performing the most stupid act at any ECWS event.
A notable award was made to David "D D" Dakin.
Late in the evening at Tony's Birthday Bash at the Sun Inn, Englefield Green, Surrey, a police man had been called to the pub. I hasten to add this had nothing to do with any member of Bright's. However, having done whatever he had come to do, the Copper found his Panda Car would not start. Quick as a flash, several Brights volunteered to bump start the offending vehicle. Well, it was about 11:00 pm and we had been drinking all day. The car started with no trouble and pulled away from the pushers, however DD forgot he was leaning on it and failed to stop pushing. He also failed to remember to use his hands to prevent his face hitting the road.
All this resulted in DD, with a mashed face, being taken to the local A&E by a very embarrassed Policeman.
Nice one DD!
"The Full Monty?"
Never let it be said that commentating at a reenactment event is not "living on the edge".
A certain member of the regiment who shall remain nameless (thats alright isn't it Nigel?) proved this at Richmond Castle. The Skirmish having finished, the dead having arisen and the combatants having formed up and saluted the crowd, the participants started to march back to the Living History camp. Our intrepid commentator encouraged the crowd to "come up to that camp and meet the soldiers.... "; but suggested that they gave the soldiery time to prepare themselves to meet the public with the imortal line
"Give us a chance to get our kit off!!!"
"Taking the Plunge;"
At Cheddar in 1998 the Royalist Artillery was positioned on an island in a lake at the back of the battlefield, accessible by a bridge at the rear, away from the crowd. Following the Saturday battle, whilst relaxing at the bar, the Lord General expressed a desire to see the guns attacked on the Sunday. Brights rose to the challenge. Having checked the depth of the lake, about 5' 6", the taller members of the regiment volunteered to cross. During the latter stages of the Sunday battle the order to attack was given, and accompanied by some like minded Monagues, we plunged into the lake. Crawling out on the island we valiantly surrendered to a laughing gun crew, as per the script. It was at this time we realised that one of out number, James, had swum the lake still wearing his armour.
"Funny Ha-Ha;"
During the early stages of a battle a few years ago at Audley End, Saffron Waldon; the entire Roundhead army was required to cross a concealed ditch or Ha-Ha. This obstruction was about 8 feet deep and edged with a wall on the side by which we were to descend. Whilst discussing how we might go about this Herculean task we were approached by a member of the artillery who asked if the regiment would help get a couple of light guns across. We paused and thought for a couple of seconds,
"Sure!" came the answer, " as long as we can form a triangle of pike, swing one man over then build a rope and pulley system, taking the wheels, carriage, limber and barrel over seperately......".
"Okay, Okay;" responded the Gunner, "I'll ask some one else." and wandered away.
We went back to our original problem, which incidentally, we solved by pole-vaulting the pike block over; but that's another story.
"Shall we dance?;"
During the pre battle siege operations at Helmsley (1994) Bright's were due to come off guard duty as the Royalist Duke of York's brigade attacked the parliamentary lines. As the Fairfax brigade, who were relieving Bright's on the lines, were some what tardy in recognising the attack, I took the regiment over to the left flank to drive off Tyldesley's (as per the script). Being some distance from the crowd we decided to use the "Choreographed Drill" we had practised earlier. Therefore we advanced on the enemy to the commands of "left, together, left, together, point, point...". Tyldesley's, being quick on the uptake realised that they must withdraw, the script said so. After a brief pause, incredulous at our manner of arrival, they backed off with the chant of "Right, together, Right, together, point, point..."
Who says the Royalists have no sense of humour?
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